Give bad advice!!! Worst, most ridonculously hilarious advice ever gets 10 points.?

Hire an illegal alien from Mexico tutor you in French.Give bad advice!!! Worst, most ridonculously hilarious advice ever gets 10 points.?
Read Twilight - It's a fascinatingly well-written book with a plot, tons of deep character development, and amazing word choice (she soooo does not overabuse a thesaurus)! Stephenie Meyer doesn't write sick disturbing fantasies about sparkling stalkers at all, but rather deep emotional characters you can indulge yourself in!Give bad advice!!! Worst, most ridonculously hilarious advice ever gets 10 points.?
If your wife ask you if she is fat, ugly, horribly disfigured, or anything else relating to look and she also asks that you be honest. Say this:


';Are you sure you want the truth? It's pretty harsh.'; and if she sas yes say:


';Honey, I love you no matter what. Keep that in mind.(say very sarcastically) But you really need to go to the gym more often and burn some thousands of calories.';
';Go up to that bully who's pushin' ya around and stand up fer yurself, Sonny!';


You go up the school bully (who is a girl) and tell her ';I aint gonna stand this anymore!'; Then you stomp your foot for dramatic effect and end up stepping on her toe. She beats you up.
Well the best way to find love is to meet me on the corner, make sure your drunk as shitt, its easier that way. I'll even give u a discount but the way to find TRUE love is to:


a.get a reality show


or


b. e harmoney


or


c. clubbing
-If a stranger offers you a piece of candy and a ride, take both!


-Eat yellow snow, it's apple flavored.


-Eat brown snow, it's chocolate flavored.


-Vote for Obama in 2012
Get totally wasted and attempt to perform open heart surgery, while you are a licensed electrician.
If a girl asks you if you think she's fat, pretty, etc....always answer:





';You look like my mom...and that grosses me out';
Tell a blond person go to the bottom of people and sniff the scratch and sniff sticker
The more hookers you sleep with unprotected, the less of a chance you will get crabs.
get that hill billy out of your house, give it that big ol stupid pick up truck of yours and some weed and your good to go(:
Whatever.
Take this answer seriously.


(seriously)
commit sucide
Leave your ex-wife on the porch when she knocks.
Bite your teeth into the *** of life
eat a banana that you found in a public toilet
call Brock Lesnar a homo to his face








rub ben gay on your balls
go jump of a cliff :)
say hi to ur friend jack on a plane